two cents

This is a chance to redeem yourself, please don't fuck it up.

evolution through revolution 1.0

All change!

Let's shake things up a bit!

This isn't good or bad, it just IS.

Ride it out ride it out ride it out again and always,

Slowly, moving up slowly.

I want you but who are you even.

Your, mine, taking, giving, the space inbetween.

What is this that could be?

My only want is finding out, now knowing this.

Parasites.

When the backbone is withered and dead, our oceanic heaven reduced to dry desolate plains.
We will scream at the broken city skyline...

“Why did we destroy that which sustained us and reject love?!”

... hearing only the echoes in answer, alone in our suffering.
Haunted by the myriad dreaming,
But not eternally for all is impermanence.

The place where the proud called their home is barren now, scorched not by their own passion but by our greed for their flame.

No gods could forgive such ignorant waste of potential, if they do exist then we are orphans left on the doorstep of the world.

A consequence allowed continuing out of spite.

Rise above this sea of banal filth to seek redemption, in the eyes of suffering no-one is exempt and all are equal.

Grindstone

Sea of grey washing over, rays piercing through.
Reminding us of sublime liberty squandered.
Meanwhile we build our ivory towers
Burning our bridges in solitary solidarity

Hoping for them to come home, again.

So empty and drained like ghosts
And what is left…When all is gone?
Just memories of them and what we loved and lost.

Forever shades of endless haze,
Broken dreams in concrete shades.
Nothing to lose.
Everything to gain.

Reasons

"There’s the inner world which is a reflection of the outer world, and when you think of all the billions of worlds that are going on out there - we are connected with that, we’re not encouraged to think of our connection as why we are on this planet. Is our life just functional; is that all that is? Getting up, going to work, having kids, to just populate the planet? I mean there have to be reasons we do things..."

Realise, something sobering this way comes.

In the void of crisis only you can hear your prayers,

Chasing shadows and grasping at air...

...keep on screaming in your own head.

Become your own god or no one will ever answer, then you realize that we are lonely islands in a vast sea.

Sailing to foreign horizons to encounter another,

Alienated by consciousness and perception and propped up by Ego.

Dethrone your inner deity for there are no masters.

Everything that is subjected to change is impermanent and attachment leads to suffering.

We’re not so different…

…and I’m just as insane as you are in fact.

Escape delusion and embrace the absurdity. Relish being with a whole heart in its emptiness and suchness.

That void that stares back into your heart shatters it each time you try and fight it.

Be not the candle in the dark but use the darkness to emancipate yourself.

What do you seek?

The Eerie cold.

What a cracking album still after 5 years, the intro still makes laugh.

“Oh look at all the pathetic black clad wannabes running off to buy the new shining album, yeah. Within the framework of our scene this shit’s the latest thing. Something to take a stand for right? Something new and oh so evil. I mean shit! What could possibly be more true than suicide right?

What you ignorant little fucks don’t seem to be getting though, what oh so very few of you don’t seem to realise at all, that this is no fucking joke. Far too many of you haven’t questioned yourself nearly enough to deserve to pretend to feel at home with this music. And honestly most of you are even more degenerate and shallow than the commercial mainstream you pride yourself SO for hating, Hate, you don’t know what real hatred is and consequently horror is just a joke to you. In reality humanity is horror. Just think of the putrid decadence and inner ugliness passed down genetically to all of us. We’ll all potential child rapists, flaming homosexuals, murderers, thieves and any other egocentric dung you can think of.

And as much as it might appeal to you to support all this, in essence our nature. It’s just pathetic since you’d shit in your fucking panties if confronted by the real world out there.

And what is with you fucking morons, dissing men like Eminem and Manson. What? Is that jealously due to the fact of them bringing this shit to the masses without pretensions for style? I mean at least in their case the audience reflects the artist right?

Which is something that can’t be said for shining now is it? So take a long good look at yourself because maybe Shining isn’t really your thing. Maybe you should just turn on the radio and forgot all about these obscure releases you have to buy in order to listen to. And maybe you should just give the fuck up understanding the perspectives of schizophrenics and psychos making art just to destroy the minds of stupid little kids with too big allowances. Shining is not into building an army. Shining is not a promise for the future… Shining is just the pain of being human, here and now. If you’re into the whole organised misanthropy thing I suggest you go for shit like Dimmu Borgir instead, like me.

Anyway on behalf on shining and it’s my honour to extend a general death wish to all you fucking retards. Ah, fuck you.”

The problem is...

"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?"

- Epicurus

Memory

Forever through dead fields of grain

So lost and drained like ghosts

And what is left…

When all is gone?

Just memories of those and what we loved and lost

Nothing more still lingers on

So I hope for you to come home, again.

On a sleepy summers evening one had tea with the shrews.

Trail blazing and smoke ridden hazes, what on earth are we doing here?

Subdued but waiting... Floating away on a strawberry tide, at least we're moving somewhere.

The only thing more absurd than this mind boggling life is our ego-complex.

But not more absurd than a tap dancing astronaut,

After all, in space...


...no one can hear you dancing.

It feels fucking incredible regardless.

En passant, c'est la vie!

Digging this up.

It's been a while since my last post i promise the zero visitors this receives (haha) I'll at least try and make an effort with writing, the girlfriend is moving off to southampton & I'm starting a new course. Winds of change!

08/11

The eighth of the eleven.

Forget it and all that will come of it is self-destruction & unnecessary suffering.

merblah

Too much fecking drama, people should chill the fuck out. :)

Going to be one incredible weekend after this blunder of a night methinkles

(aside) Super seriously it's sucks when people are impossible to read, it'd be nice to know where i stand in this situation.

Ah well...

C'est la vie..

Right?

Haha, typical fucking passive response there. The world needs a healthy dose of a hellslap in the face in retaliation right now to be perfectly honest, would be spectacular but fuck it... Far too chilled all the time for my own good...

Maybe, just maybe stop being all reliable, friendly, likeable and nice. The world seems to favour cunts and dickheads really, if you can't beat 'em join 'em...

Don't think i have it in me to be like that though, screw that. I guess I'm committing myself to this shitehole of a position by being myself.

Does being not a absolute fuckshite mean that you won't get as far with shit then? Ah he he he he.

Oh well, despite the inebriation and all that, actually feel quite clear headed at moment. Shit i really bloody hate feeling lonely, miserable wanker... least I'm not morrissey though HAH.

Oh hai!

Putting together all the bits that were lost to see the full picture. If that's not possible then at we could at least reflect on them.

Hindsight's a bitch ai?

Things keep trundling on, excitement mucho needito. >:)

Ah well, just keep on skankin'. haha!




Something!

Ho-hum.

Let me behold the truth in beauty,

Embrace it's fleeting essence within.

A firey hearth needs fuel for leaping flames,

lest it shall dwindle.

Or worse yet, die.

Each moment of passion a world apart,

Weaving together our mortal, finite world.

And so we love, endlessly.






And now for something completely different.

Antibiotics SUCK!

Happy new year!

Happy New Year, wait no, a new decade! Epic i guess even though time is relative and all. Heh, anyways one thing first.

How the mighty fall? Hard.

Putting up a paper thin wall is really pointless now there's too much of a distance to see each other from in the first place. I guess it's making the gesture thats important rather than it's actual significance though, still the same old same old with you isn't it. Hah.

New years break is over now, back to work. Very bad, thinking of kicking back in the 'dam in a few months time for a holiday is something to look forward to and motivating me to keep hard at it. Offered full time there now though which is a relief.

Started reading "Perfume" again, so good.

Good night!

Vengeance and Liberty

A deposed tyrant dies to the sounds of his subjects cheering for his killer, now they can both rest in peace.

Fruits!

Employment, sell your body for income and have little time to really enjoy life anymore but as horrible and shallow as it is. I really could do with the cash right now after so much time without a job, snow is shit to labour in and the warehouse is freezing fucking cold. FUCK SNOW.

However, MERRY CHRISTMAS! Cannot wait for all the food and drink on my days off. Each hour worked is another fiver saved. Easter Amsterdamage trip for definite. >:D

This is it for now, something all "cool" and "deep" (haha) looking will go up soon when i find some time to polish off something worth it, not that people read this anyway so it's purely self indulgence to be honest.

Byeskis.

Well

You can make yourself who and what you are
but it doesn't mean I have to like what you've become.

Immolation

Someone rekindle this dying fire before embers fade to ash.

Build it up into a raging pyre once more,

Let all our past sins and failings char.

Those memories however, are what help make us who we are.

A funeral pyre?

No, only a funeral for our old selves.

A celebration of rebirth.

Smoke follows us 'til emancipating winds come a’ blowing,

Only a slight taste in the air is left, a haunting reminder.

Leave nothing un burnt.